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Hope is some extraordinary spiritual grace that God gives us to control our fears, not to oust them


An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself


Today is one of those days when I'm so busy doing nothing that I don't have time for anything else


We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love


Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you; she is after your barn


No matter how smart you are, you can never outsmart what your heart tells you.


Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.


Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a horse.


If I had a star for every scar you tattooed on my heart I could fill up the Oklahoma sky.


Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.


For everything that lives is holy, life delights in life


The children despise their parents until the age of 40, when they suddenly become just like them-thus preserving the system.


Here's to the groom with bride so fair, And here's to the bride with groom so rare!


A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself


Telling someone how much I love you, is like trying to explain color's to a blind person. Completely impossible.


Roses are red, violets are blue, i have five fingers and the middle one is for you!


All experience is an arch wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades for ever and for ever when I move


That millisecond your sure your going to die when you lean back in your chair a little to far


Why don't you freeze your teeth and give your tongue a sleigh ride.


Beauty itself is but the sensible image of the Infinite


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