Abi Normal
@StabiAbiIt's all about the hips and nips. You've gotta' make it sexy. If it's not sexy, I don't eat.
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I just want the part of this day where I have to be both conscious and sober to end.
Spent most of my anniversary broken down off the boulevard, waiting for a tow. Next year we're going to get our teeth pulled together.
Really need to stop getting high with strangers. #AwkwardSituationsIPutMyselfIn
Dat feel when your logic's so good stupid people just start repeating themselves
Just tried my first pumpkin latte ever. And I think I'm gonna throw it out.
Fuck you counter lady, I'll buy lady products and ice cream at the same time if I fucking want to.
I think I'm replacing Thirsty Tuesdays with wine and cheese hockey days.
When people randomly tell me that I'm pretty, I'm convinced that they're doing it because I'm ugly and they feel bad. Yeah, don't do that.
Tattoos have made me way more popular than my personality ever could have. #assholeproblems
My supervisor's gone AWOL, so I'm just not going in tomorrow. Because it's #FuckThisShitOclock
Bald people creep me out. I'm pretty sure they can read minds and shit.
Society cannot move forward until we can all accept that ham is gross and agree to stop eating it.
There are a lot of things I plan to steal from work, as soon as its not work anymore.
My biggest fear is accidentally saying "k love you bye" on the phone to somebody from work or school.
Guys I really wanna finish this book please get out of the pool so I can commence not doing my job.
Your kids are ugly, dumb and annoying. Take them home and keep them there.
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