Fake Jimmy Boone
@Shit_JimmySaysWords of wisdom from everyone's favorite Jimmy.
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Elton John is like the eighth wonder of the world.
You think in Star Wars, instead of condoms they use force fields?
Oh, so I was walking over the bridge on Buck and I think somebody threw a dildo in the river.
Wait, are the Gators a basketball or a football team?
It's "Ftanjesca" okay? My pinecone, my names.
It's an abortionarium. That's where they perform all the abortions.
Wait, why do they have Louisiana's hot sauce, isn't this Tennessee?
Tell her we found hookers! Wait, who is that? "BK." Never mind, don't tell her we found hookers.
I forget [my stuffed frog's] name so it's constantly changing.
I just watched videos of people playing Portal 1 and 2 online and then was like "Yay that was fun for me!"
Weirdest thing I've ever heard on a ban bus? F sharp.
It smells like my grandmother plus baby powder.
You have less points than your jersey number!
Christians have no lives. It's just church and typing.
I happen to be a proud stockholder in testicledom
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