Lily Von Shtupp
@SfckngSGod dammit I'm exhausted. she/her
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Yeah but see, if I had good mental health, I wouldn’t be this funny.
After many years on the internet and watching cute dog videos, I can safely say that I never want to hear a recording of me talking cute to a dog. I know how angry I’ll be at how fucking stupid I sound.
If Yohan hadn’t won the #SummerBakingChampionship pride themed episode, I would have considered that a hate crime.
I do not care that you “know” you don’t have covid. If you are sitting here coughing, telling me you’re vomiting and have sob, I’m testing your ass.
Who else teared up at the Baltimore Lizzo concert? Because she got me and @modernmoonchild
I should never be allowed to have twin girls because I would not be able to resist naming them Marianne and Wanda or Thelma and Louise.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: If you're sending a patient to the ED, please don't tell them you're sending them for admission, CT scan, etc. You are sending them for evaluation. What that entails is up to me. Inappropriate expectations leads to much discontent.
My favorite part of family parties is telling my conservative uncles that unions are super fucking liberal. “Well I was president of my union.” “Wow how anti-republican of you. Unions are some liberal shit.”
That neurodivergent crossroads of “I want low key head phones, but sticking things in my ear canal makes me want to die, my ears are usually too small for regular in ear headphones, and things squishing my head gives me a headache.” Y tho?
Anxiety dreams I’ve had about the wedding: 1) I forgot to hire hair and make up. 2) I was late. 3) I never got my dress. But I had back up plans for almost all of it so I guess it was still a win?
“It’s not as romantic as you think it is because you said ‘this pussy’” -@__sleepyscorpio
My patient had the cutest fucking service dog and I get so sad because I WANT TO PET IT BUT I CANT! He was doing such a good job though. Have a good day to them and no one else.
I have bought this cats so many damn toys and what’s their favorite? The brushes from my robot vacuum. Contrary little shits.
Just had a job interview where I was interviewed and watched by ten people. I will now rearrange my living room in order to deal with all this nervous energy. Pray for me.
Chewie just followed @Diggingfornades AWAY FROM ME while he walked out of the room. Please let your thoughts be with me while I curl up into a ball and cry forever because my cat loves him more.
I’m not trying to victim blame my cat but why does he have such a cute tummy if he doesn’t want me to pick him up and pet his tummy?
Someone asked me if I was cosplaying an anime character. I had to tell them that no, alas this is just how I dress.
My first floor and bathroom are clean because we had company over. I feel like I should just leave the house forever so i can’t mess it up. You know, leave on a high note.
Not me wandering around target mumbling “platesplatesplatesplatesplates” to myself so I actually remember why I’m hear and don’t leave without getting what I need.
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