Beard Armstrong
@SethsBeardPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS
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For a second I honestly thought @LauraLoomer got more work done.
Woman goes viral after “upgrading” her face & getting Bbl’s 👀
If it wasn’t for how obnoxious @GoldenKnights fans are I may actually like them. But alas.
I’ve decided to dedicate my life towards going viral by being that dude at a sporting event yammering on about god knows what into some girl’s ear, who clearly hates life at that moment while the announcers make fun of me.
I assume it’s normal to lie to your therapist like it’s a job interview, right?
Most peoples’ greatest fear is something like being buried alive or spiders, but mine is realizing I’ve got the runs on a Transpacific Flight.
I put the roll of toilet paper on backwards and it’s like I don’t know how to go to the bathroom anymore.
Thankfully, Spotify has held firm on the catalog of Art Garfunkel.
Considering the advancement of technology and robotics in the 23rd century, they sure got some shitty tattoos in Starship Troopers.
Even in my forties I still laugh at trucks that say “oversized load”
What’s a normal number of times to apologize to your cats on a daily basis?
A while back I started a blog where I gave honest reviews of my own performances. I haven't done it in a while, so I figured what the hell. This particular review? Cockraiser XXX with @undeux @DaisyDucati and @TommyPistol honestpornreviews.blogspot.com/2021/10/an-hon…
True story. I was reading her the Only Fans terms and conditions.
Oh sure, when Harrison Ford tells ME to "get the fuck out of his house", it's breaking and entering, but when David Blaine does it, it's HILARIOUS.
FYI @BankofAmerica customer service is the reason so many mass shootings happen.
Will I get canceled if I continue to use the word "honkers"?
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AngryScotRoss
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Dayo Dane Ephraim 🎤
@Dayodane
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