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Shawn Mayle Reposted

The Effectiveness of Birth Control. http://t.co/1zSmrS3bTE

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Shawn Mayle Reposted

YOU CAME TO THE WRONG NEIGHBORHOOD! http://t.co/vlWDseQQJ6

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Shawn Mayle Reposted

Dear Penis... http://t.co/kTLc4jiEHz

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Shawn Mayle Reposted

I've been thinking about it a lot lately and I'm not sure this "being an adult" thing is going to work out.


Shawn Mayle Reposted

Girls say they want a guy who is funny and spontaneous but when I tap on the window at night dressed as a clown it’s all screaming.


Shawn Mayle Reposted

Remember, it's not drinking alone if your dog is home!


Shawn Mayle Reposted

Women who say, “a lot of guys are after me”, should keep in mind that low prices always attract many customers.


Shawn Mayle Reposted

Go home morning, nobody likes you.


Shawn Mayle Reposted

Don't let anyone that listens to Nickelback tell you shit about life.


Shawn Mayle Reposted

Men never grow up. http://t.co/8yg6wkVllV

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Shawn Mayle Reposted

I hate “2-faced” people. It’s so hard to decide which face to slap first.


Shawn Mayle Reposted

Don't make this mistake... http://t.co/r5k6Nx8K6b

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Shawn Mayle Reposted

Dear everyone instagramming their food. We get it, it's Thanksgiving, you're eating.


Shawn Mayle Reposted

Allow me to apologize in advance for what I will do to the bathroom after Thanksgiving.


Shawn Mayle Reposted

Said it once I'll say it again, best part of the night, pouring a beer for myself in pure silence after close, no music no guests just me


Shawn Mayle Reposted

I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed.


Shawn Mayle Reposted

Everyone knows that guy who brings shitty beer to the party, then drinks the expensive stuff.


Shawn Mayle Reposted

Well hello there Friday, I've been waiting for you, you beautiful bastard!


Shawn Mayle Reposted

Ladies, if your Halloween costume makes me want to take off your Halloween costume, you're doing it right.


Shawn Mayle Reposted

I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life...if I die next Tuesday.


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