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Just heard one guy get out of his car and leave all the doors open and tell another guy “if you see a snapping turtle come out don’t be alarmed, there’s one stuck under the seat in there somewhere.” I have questions
Everybody has that one coworker. 7:00 am “Hey good morning”. 7:02 am “Soooo what are we doing for lunch today?”
Just watched someone give health advice with a cigarette hanging out of their mouth. Good work bud, keep it up.
The amount of “ope sorry” said at a midwestern drinking game is unreal #youbetcha
My boss told me to buy stock in pizza and diapers. Because everyone is at home and they don’t know how to cook, and you know what else they’re going to be doing #coronababies
God didn’t create cattle so you could make burgers out of soybeans #EATBEEF #supportranchers
Grandpas are known for giving good advice. Mine told me when I was like 6 not to piss into the wind and I’ll always remember that
Strawing down the barn for the calves last night and Wendell yells “hey that’s good enough, it’s not like Mary and Joseph are showing up later”
Going to paint a room in my house and found out paint companies hire stoners to pick names for them
And on the 8th day god made 4 wheel drive. Why? Because The Midwest
Walked into family Christmas and yelled “how bout them packers? Whoo”. Got told to go eat in the garage. #vikingsvspackers #nopackno
I told my 2yo niece she could name the new calf at the ranch and she said “popcorn, because that’s what we’ll feed him”
Howling wolves is the last thing you want to hear when you’re getting out of your deer stand at night
My dad told me he had to go get a bunch of candy for the hitchhikers coming over this week. Pretty sure he meant trick or treaters but he’s old so I let him have this one
The first big snow storm is not the ideal time to find out your 4 wheel drive is broken
Old guy at work said he started driving for Uber and said hopefully he can pick me and my buddies up some night at bar close. I said trust me you don’t want that
Sat next to a old guy at the DMV today. He leaned over and tried to whisper but pretty much yelled at me “Have you seen the size of the people in here, look at that one. Holy shit!” Everyone looked at us...
You know how to piss off an old rancher? Just say “you ain’t no cowboy ol’ son.” Watched my buddy tell his dad mid argument and it was...Hilarious @dalebrisby
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