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Creators of Star Control II, one of my fav games of all time, in legal battle with Stardock, of 'sexual harassment is OK because I own this company' fame. Donate here: gf.me/u/napjym via @gofundme
As human beings we need to assess whether anger has any value - it destroys our peace of mind. Compassion, on the other hand, brings optimism and hope.
Who needs a train? This guy spent three months training for this 400-meter run, from Tsukahara Station to Iwahara Station on the Daiyūzan Line in Kanagawa. (via @shunsuke_hisano)
"We all have the same 24 hours." Use public transport? Your 24 hours are not the same as those of private jet owners. Do your own cooking, cleaning, child~raising? Your 24 hours are not the same as those of someone with a full~time domestic staff. Stop this nonsense.
{The purge} GUY MURDERING ME: It’s “purge.” It’s a soft g. ME: The purg. I feel like I’m saying it. GUY: No, it’s “purge.” You’re saying it like “iceberg.” ME: Purg. GUY: *Getting increasingly frustrated* Say iceberg. ME: Iceburge.
Ted Cruz called me a limousine liberal! Oooo! He's never ridden in one himself, I suppose. Come on up to Maine, Ted, I'll give you a ride on my Harley. It was made in America before your boy Trump fucked up the company.
WHAT DO WE WANT? my kids: DINNER! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? my kids: BEDTIME!
astronaut: houston come in houston: this had better be important astronaut: it's urgent houston: fine what astronaut: [drinking soda out of the air] rootbeer float
i told a customer good morning and he said “time means nothing to me” he’s the only person i’ve ever respected
I got home from work, kissed my wife and kid, changed into a tank top, ate dinner, threw the football with my kid in the front yard, then got out my tool box and repaired and repainted a falling number on the front of the house. Who says traditional marriage is dead? #AmIButchYet
[teaching my boyfriend cards] ME: the blue ones represent logic, the yellow are morality & order, the green use instinct & interdependence, and the red value chaos & impulse HIM: *frantically flipping through UNO instruction booklet*
me: do you serve dog waiter: what no- me: because I brought my dog waiter: oh I thought you meant like do we sell- me: and I'm pretty sure he's a cannibal
ME: Well I’d really like a better job. PRIEST: Okay, well— ME: Wait I get 2 more. PRIEST: God’s not a genie. GOD: I mean I’m basically a genie. ME: *Points at God* He is, He’s basically a genie.
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