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Pushed the button on my car keys to open the front door of my house, fuckin muppet
Listening to fast and fresh staff trying to pronounce my name has made my day likes
All apps should have something to confirm you’re not drunk :/
This Xmas, if you see 20 cars at your neighbor's house, and you're thinking about reporting them, go to the fridge and drink a big glass of milk. Why? Milk is good for your teeth! You know what else is good for your teeth? Minding your own business
Started skateboarding last week and I’m already looking forward to buying my first wheelchair
If you don’t get 11 hours of sleep daily you are doing it wrong
Who controls the memes, controls the Universe
Don’t think I’ve woken up before 12 in the past 4 months
There’s nothing better than having a blast being a mong with your best mates :)
To everyone who plays or has played GTA V, they now offer a realistic version. It’s called America
I’m gona get a parrot and me n my parrots gona get baked 24/7 and I’m gona never have negative day in my fucking life
It’s getting allot harder to find genuine people nowadays, I’m glad to have the friends I have.
What even is this shit and why did I decide to download it again
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