Nate Garberich
@NateGarberichHelping 8.1 billion people become billionaires by 2025. Founder of time-machine startup (in stealth).
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Green Lights to Sync with iPhones, Alert Drivers When to Look Up @TheOnion @barstoolsports @TheBabylonBee
Poster caption: Reality Over Nepotism
Mark Few got his son a couple of garbage time minutes off the bench and all it got him was on the receiving end of one of the worst posters I’ve ever seen.
3 @NBA teams have 2 players on the @usabasketball Olympic team. Only 1 of those teams is in the conference finals (and they should really have 3 players)
Celtics v Mavs, but Ant and T-Wolves deserve Finals MVP for burying the Nuggets
Maybe @lildickytweets responds defending Israel. Get the white boys rap battling, too
HIND’S HALL. Once it’s up on streaming all proceeds to UNRWA.
Revised draft: "Tech CEO, Forced Out by Activist Investors, Begs for $1 Donations"
“Tech Mogul Begs for Handouts for Passion Project” could be a Onion headline, if it weren’t true. But the world needs more satire, so I’ll invest 100 pennies PS – Hit me up if you need a scab. Gotta make that dollar back. @jeffiel @TheOnion
Alright, the news is out. Yes, I bought The Onion. Why? 1/4
McDonalds, Coca Cola release new ad campaign celebrating Fat Acceptance @TheOnion @barstoolsports @TheBabylonBee
Amazon to acquire Little Free Libraries, liquidate inventory The boxes will be turned into delivery lockers and housing for workers @TheOnion @barstoolsports @TheBabylonBee
Elon Musk to Build Tunnel to Mexico to Streamline High-Skilled Immigration Process @TheOnion @barstoolsports @TheBabylonBee
(To be read by an AI voice imitating Mitch Hedberg) Thinking of naming my next child, “They”. No pronouns necessary.
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Who to follow
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AmusedToDeath
@AmusedToDeath1 -
Tom Tucker
@TomTMinistries -
Christy Piña
@christypina_ -
Abdul Muiz
@shamshadkhkhan -
Gareth Bedford / thethirdman.eth
@thirdman_gareth -
Sarah
@BubblyHeart -
Monique Costa
@Monique_Rose8 -
Nick Wang
@nickwangg -
Kami
@transfaer -
Aaron Lewis
@monsieurfusee -
Alexis Neuville
@alexis_neuville -
emily 🐈⬛🩵🎶
@emilyjobot
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