The Kirkland Signature®
@MrKirkletonActor. Unofficial Lactaid™️Representative. Professional Broadway Lottery Winner. BiShrexual.
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But it's "against the law" if I bite people during Nosferatu
Sonic 3 fans bought their tickets, they should feel free to roll up into a ball and blast into each other at supersonic speeds
I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny
They should've just recast Kang with RDJ.
oh you stole my mario party star? go fuck yourself. we will never be friends ever again.
if you want to be in my spotify wrapped, you must defeat my 7 evil songs i looped at weirdly specific emotional points in my life this year.
Fuck ur gym progress photos on social media. The moment you get those little hearts from the bottom right hand corner of ur story most of y’all gonna feel like you can stop working. Stfu and figure out ur next workout. Bout to reach 3 months strong working out 6 days a week 😎😁
how it feels when ur friend posts a screenshot of a funny text you sent them on their instagram story
guy in front of me at my wicked screening is losing his fuckin shit because I'm using my coffee grinder to grind up some beans.. uhhhh ok mr. movie police where tf am I supposed to grind them
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson says that people should feel free to sing in movie theaters: "You've paid your hard earned money for a ticket, and you've gone into a musical, and you’re into it. Sing" Source: @BBC
Such a beautiful polite dig at the mcu. I love it
James Gunn says the #DCU release schedule won't be like Marvel 'because nothing is greenlit before we have a finished script'
Such a good bit
Man uses a 100,000 lumen flashlight to escape from the cops. 📹AI
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