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Stupidissima

@MormonSacrifice

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Pinned

Omg y’all I’m not cut out to be a Lyft driver, two days in and I already had sex with one of the passengers


I need a min I lost a soldier (I left my favorite leather blazer at a hookups place)


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︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎

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Guy who doesn’t respect the walkie talkie rules: Ugh, I’m so hungover Guy who does: rlly 👀? Over


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I bagged a lesbian yall (told her the cough was from covid)

I only smoke cigarettes when I’m drunk and i went to a gay bar alone trying to look mysterious and hot but why is my ass out here coughing



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me age 13: been getting really into vampires lately me age 18: i can’t remember the last time i’ve felt genuine happiness me age 26: been getting really into vampires lately


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I see you from a distance and I’m judging


I only smoke cigarettes when I’m drunk and i went to a gay bar alone trying to look mysterious and hot but why is my ass out here coughing


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it feels like something chinese is going to happen soon


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Me after TurboTax asks me to confirm I’ve reviewed all of the documents (I don’t understand anything)

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happy to announce I remembered who the fuck I am


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you're not sorry for party rocking. you're sorry you got caught


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📍

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peak intimacy: uncontrollable laughter together


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If we’re going back 60 years can we at least bring back the quaaludes and pure cocaine


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Predict a salad next fatty

Moo Deng has accurately predicted the US election 2024.

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the biggest comeback is making yourself feel like yourself again.


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