@ModestPelican Profile picture

Modest Pelican

@ModestPelican

I make YouTube videos - [email protected]

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I’m sorry but being a YouTuber is waaaaay harder than a 9-5 job 😡 Sometimes my personal assistant forgets to pick up my Beluga caviar and then I’m stuck eating White Sturgeon caviar like a fucking idiot


Elon Musk: men can’t get pregnant Also Elon Musk:

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Since Trump won the election: - My testosterone has increased 560% - My Mexican neighbour was deported - My girlfriend quit her job to be a TRAD - I punched a Muslim - My crypto wallet has risen 10234% - My girlfriend (half Vietnamese) deported - My cat (Persian Blue) deported


I just queued up and voted 174 times. I’m an Australian citizen.


RIP to my late Grandad ❤️😔

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Some TikTok girl at the gym just got mad at me for “looking at her” while she squatted. It’s 👏 a 👏 gym Like ffs, I didn’t buy these binoculars to look at birds


I never thought playing video games would pay for an around the world trip with my friends ❤️

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SOS ⚠️ This is Pelican’s management. We haven’t seen him for 17 hours and we are worried. He was last seen at the gym doing bench press (130kgs for 25 reps). He’s likely hanging out with lingerie models, volunteering at charities or getting a penis reduction Please reach out.


My side of the story: Yes, I cheated on my wife. Yes it was with a girl in GTA role play. She used the “bow emote” so her avatar would bend over and suck me off. I used the “push up emote” while she lay prone on the ground. This made it look like I was railing her if you…


Congratulations to Logan Paul on the birth of his new baby girl ❤️ Apparently she’s already working at a Prime factory in Ethiopia eating a diet of solely Lunchly packs


Men’s 👏 mental health 👏 matters 👏 Woman’s 👏 mental health 👏 matters 👏 These two things aren’t mutually exclusive. But they are both wrong. No one’s mental health matters. Happiness comes from lifting weights, stacking cash and sex with babes. Sign up to my new online…


I am NOT responsible for how my YouTube community behaves. Stop blaming me. Did I tell them to review bomb my local Italian restaurant because they didn’t let me eat for free (I’m famous?) Yea I did Did I leak my ex’s socials and encourage them to leave heinous comments on…


Last year I made the difficult decision to give up my heart to the Organ Foundation. Today I travelled across the country carrying a stethoscope. I pressed it up to the chest of a brave young man and I listened to my own heart beat. I saved his life. Pay it forward ❤️


At least he gave me a chance

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Taylor Swift has flown around the globe in her private jet 160,342 times in the last year. A seperate luxury jet follows with her luggage as she hates feeling “crowded” She owns 24 industrial oil rigs She hunts turtles for fun But our plastic straws are killing the planet


You're in my crosshairs Logan Paul & you're looking hella zesty because I modded you over a female NPC lmao

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Wait am I getting this right? - DrDisrespect admits to messaging a minor inappropriately - Gets cancelled - DrD says it was a test to bait reactions - People request the messages be released for clarity - DrD says no this isn’t the 2nd grade Hahahaha wtf PR strategy is…


Scrolling Twitter in 2024: Streamer trauma dumping Naked girl Elon Musk fishing for likes Over the top right/left wing political post Beheading Wholesome meme Pedo being beaten up by guys on roids An ad A post by someone you like and follow


This is a photo of my grandpa (1972) and members of his rifle company from the Vietnam War. He hadn’t seen this photo in over 50 years and he wept uncontrollably when I showed him ❤️

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Hey @LoganPaul if I mod you into Hitman and kill you and make lots of jokes at your expense can you pinky swear not to sue me g?


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