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getting hazed is so funny. "He made me touch poop!" Hope Delta Sig is worth it. Shoulda come to computer club. "He made me roll poop around in my hand until it was a perfect sphere" Bro come to Computer club instead. We only did that one time and it was for experimental purposes
they callhim Philip Seymour Hoffman because when he's in a flick you know youll wanna "Philip" that popcorn and "Seymour" of him Hoffman.
Mcdonalds worker on 9th hour of shift : Hey what can I get you :) And how are you doing today Me: I have been adrift for a while; Burger
(Getting shot in the head) ah! My achilles head!
[optometrist interrupts me] the bigger letters aren't louder
me: *throwing up slime my friend: “man why the fuck are you throwing up slime right now” me: “too much slime in me”
(teaching my 8th grade class that has The Joker in it) Me: So what was Orwell warning us about? The Joker: That sometimes in 1984 what doesn't kill you, makes you stranger..? Me: Anybody else? (The Joker's hand goes back up) Anybody whose first name isn't "The"?
Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up. Batman Begin
Di Caprio: sell me this pen Cashier: that will be $1.89. cash or credit? Di Caprio: tap, please (Di Caprio hovers his phone near the pin-pad) Di Caprio: thanks, have a nice day Cashier: (crumpling receipt) you too
me: i havent seen u before. new here? cashier: yep:) i just started today :) me: right on, right on. say, could i get a mcflurry? cashier: were actually not supposed to let u have mcflurrys bc they make u go Crazy me: right on, right on
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