@MattFeevish Profile picture

Matt Feevish

@MattFeevish

\tweets based on a true story 🥤 just chirpin/ a factory of fun, everything is right off the melon 🍉

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Pinned

a miracle happens in my mind every day


Swear I be doing parkour in my sleep


writing BLM on my brown eggs


Matt Feevish Reposted

there shouldnt be a speed limit after midnight. the babies are asleep let the big boys run


Every time I’m at Walmart I see someone in the parking lot that looks like they used to eat wood chips and have pet frogs they let leap around their home like reptile roommates


Is innuendo a music term or just a cool word


Hips don’t lie is an elite shower song I promise


This is my JFK

Here we are... the edible mascot in the Pop-Tarts Bowl..



A toaster is a food printer ngl


This just sounds like Tim Robinson season 4 leak

waitress: would you like ranch or blue cheese with that me: does it even fucking matter



Matt Feevish Reposted

waitress: would you like ranch or blue cheese with that me: does it even fucking matter


Matt Feevish Reposted

when u feel yo car swerve a lil in da rain so u gotta lock in

Tweet Image 1

Matt Feevish Reposted

Shampoo, conditioner, and body wash are the condiments of showering and we are the hot dogs and hamburgers.


Matt Feevish Reposted

apparently I’m “too old” and “too intoxicated” to sit on santas lap this year


Hitting the Irish goodbye on my wife and kids at the zoo


Matt Feevish Reposted

I miss when it was friday and saturday


This is how Project X should have ended

BREAKING: House explodes when police approach Arlington, VA home to execute search warrant



I’m thinking about how a hot dog would be a good glove for a screw driver


Matt Feevish Reposted

it probably feels good as fuck to be a penguin and go down an icy hill on your tummy


Like this if you’re older then 9


This how bouls with heelies think they looked in grade school

If I could do this I would literally do it everywhere, all the time. Pop slide into meetings at work. Pop slide into my seat at dinner. Pop slide up to the bar to order drinks.



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