your great grandpa
@MandyFransonim too old for this
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“Her costumes are dorky . . . I don’t know why she ever got popular” —my grandma on Taylor Swift
Why does gas cost almost as much as my hourly wage???!?
How do you get Twitter famous? Asking for myself
Should I commit a crime so I can finally feel wanted??
That’s why I don’t get hurt, because I don’t commit. But I also have nothing in my life because I don’t commit
When you know you know... that it’s time start to figuring out if you know #mandysthoughts
anyone got some hot cheetos they wanna give me?
I am canceling my roommate’s English teacher. Thanks.
If you have a secret crush on me, now would be the time to come forward. That is sensitive information. You can’t keep it locked up forever.
a relationship should be 50/50. 50% sharkboy 50% lavagirl
if skateboarding tricks were measured in radians: "dude sick 4pi kickflip"
“math is the universal language” ok buddy how do i order fries in trig
every piece of buttered toast I’ve ever had was the best piece of toast ever
.@nickjonas shows off his new quarantine workout routine to Baby Shark! #FallonAtHome
BEST FANS IN THE NATION 😤 #FOXFanVote #TogetherWeRise
THIS ONE'S FOR THE TITLE 🏆 Which team has the best fanbase in college basketball: @UNC_Basketball or @BYUbasketball? #FOXFanVote
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