@MELM0LZ Profile picture

Melissa.✌

@MELM0LZ

Joined October 2008
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My dad was FINALLY supposed to pick up his @Tesla model 3 tomorrow and just got this email... In a moment where I KNOW his heart is breaking, he still remains funny, cool, calm and collected. #prouddaughter #coolcalmcollected #tesla #teslamodel3 @elonmusk

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Melissa.✌ Reposted

Dunkin Donuts needs a separate line for people who have their shit together


Shout out to our friends watching from the lawn! 😂 Hey Amanda, Bonnie & Alyson! We in here 🤣 @charlieputh #hondacivictour

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Badass @BAM__MARGERA was in the house tonight! 🤘🤘🤘 #Firefly2018 #FireflyMusicFestival

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That awkward moment when you convince people to come out to @fosterthepeople second set at 12:30am because the first set was so great... and then they DO A FUCKING DJ SET THE WHOLE TIME. Wtf was that man 😤


Melissa.✌ Reposted

My wife bought off-brand Pop-Tarts. Sometimes I think she’s acting out on purpose. Don’t know why she’s trying to drive me away but I’m not going to budge. I’ll love her through this. This is the raw and often ugly side of marriage people don’t want to talk about.


Melissa.✌ Reposted

Oh, honey!!! 🍯 Condragulations @trixiemattel!! Winner, winner, chicken dinner!! 👑 Welcome to the #DragRace Hall of Fame!!! #AllStars3

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Omgggg I walked into this store looking for CBD oil for my son and stepped right into @spencerpratt heaven 🤯


Omg @spencerpratt my 6yr old is mad he doesn’t have enough for a Pratt daddy crystals necklace lmfaoooo what kinda pebble can you send this kid for $30 😂💀

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.@BrittDeJesus_ I was expecting a much crazier version of kaleia based on all the Skype sessions you’ve shared of her lmao


Wait @spencerpratt don’t you know breastmilk heals literally everything? @heidimontag help ya hubby out! #noserash


This new @dunkindonuts @girlscouts cookie flavor iced coffee has me feeling like @spencerpratt with his burritos 🤤😂 #hallelujah #samoas


I forgot @spencerpratt existed until @KailLowry was talking about him and his hummingbirds the other day 😂😂 I cant get enough of his snaps. Thank you 🙌


My 6yr old is so stoked to be seeing @portugaltheman at @LiveAtFirefly this year! We’ve had our fingers crossed! 😍🙌


Melissa.✌ Reposted

ME: Joe, about halfway through the speech, I’m gonna wish you a happy birth-- BIDEN: IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! ME: Joe. Happy birthday to @JoeBiden, my brother and the best vice president anybody could have.

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My 6yr old grabbed my phone and said he was sending snapchats to daddy... I guess @charlieputh is daddy 😏🤣

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Me: Spell "win" My 6yr old: wind? Me: No. Win, as in 🎶 All I do is win, win, win 🎶 6: 🎶 No matter what, what, what 🎶 w-i-n. 😩😂🙌 @djkhaled

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Melissa.✌ Reposted

Guess who just got an OLIVE GARDEN PASTA PASS and is going to 🇮🇹 ITALY 🇮🇹 NOT ME 🤦🏽‍♀️ 😅 😥 😭 😩 😣 😔


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