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unmuting to say thank you before leaving a zoom meeting
“i don’t know why everybody thinks she only writes breakup songs i hear her singin about killin people’s wives and buying dresses to take off” - my mom letting me play taylor in the car with her 😭😭😭
just got revenge on someone who wronged me 6 years ago. never be relaxed ever. im coming
every time i talk it sounds like it's my first time trying to speak
Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train
My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they're having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.
went for a walk, Very pleasant evening. the squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. that stung a little. I will remember their faces
Two white guys pregaming in their apartment alone listening to Not Like Us
These are Taylor Swift songs that remind me of Rob from Love Island 🩶🩷🩵💜
Using your laptop on the train are you. Got a presentation to finish, some code to write, a spreadsheet to tweak. Aren't you a busy, busy boy. Everyone is very impressed.
Owing me money and having plasma in ya body is crazy
I bet leaving your wife and kids feels good as fuck
one side effect of adulthood that i was unprepared for is the fact that small talk about the weather is actually meaningful and unironic
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