Lila Clark
@LilaAllDayThe internet just asked me if it's possible to stuff any more stupid tweets into it. Challenge accepted.
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Which bird has a throat pouch that's completely useless for storing fish? The pelican't. I'll see myself to the gallow...
ghost reading : when someone tells you all about a book they have read
"A certain degree of discretion might be in order if you understand me." "Got it. Fahrenheit. No? Celcius? Help me out here!"
So you preach the word? On Twitter we call that "stealing tweets" but we do it from different accounts rather than just God.
Don't be upset now, but you should know I've faked every single sarcasm. It's not you, it's me.
When they didn't have what you were looking for and you have to pass the register without paying for anything. https://t.co/9CuPYtHCft
Sarah Palin must have just assumed we'd already tweeted everything we can possibly tweet about her a long time ago. She was wrong.
I suck at flirting. And other eye contact sports such as social interaction.
*knocks on gates of hell* Yeah... Hi there! I heard you dismiss christians here. Can I come in and take a look?
I seem to be allocated a smaller amount of fucks to give every year.
Twitter is the only place where it's OK to act like a rock star. I'm not a rock star btw.
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