🇨🇦 Depressed Lumberjack™️, Part Deux
@JonKanuchThis is my naughty Twitter. 🤫 Toilet humour, puns and double-entendres aplenty. Rated M for Maple Syrup. NSFW, 21+ 🍁 French Canadians do it better.
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In Canadian porn, it's not the pizza delivery guy that gets jumped by the horny housewife. It's the helpful neighbour with the snowblower.
If you play with it too much, you’ll go blind. #EvenBiggerLies
Sports socks > compression socks. #EvenBiggerLies
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are the same size they were 20 years ago. #EvenBiggerLies
I’m not big on make-up sex… I can never seem to find the right shade of lipstick.
My emotional support animal is a beaver… maybe yours.
Coming to a pop-up clinic near you… Pumpkin SpiceVax!
I have plenty of fucks to give… but, married.
Spitting is gauche. That’s French for “choke it down”.
So do I have to date a man to get the vaccine, or does a vaccine womandate work too?
Who needs a weighted blanket when my depression is as heavy as fuck
Up your sock and lotion game with compression socks.
Flashing your moobs won’t get you out of a speeding ticket. I know this now.
Crapping all over politicians is a civic doody.
Inadvertently downloading the Twitter app instead of Tinder is why I finally broke down and got reading glasses.
Hey, guuurrrl! You a black hole? ‘Cause I’m feeling a gravitational pull. - Astrophysicists flirting
Always wear safety chaps when manscaping with a chainsaw.
#Elxn44 Pandemic Voting Guide for Ontario parents: 🔲 CPC 🔲 GPC ☑️ LCBO 🔲 LPC 🔲 NDP 🔲 PPC
If the pandemic has taught me anything, it’s that it’s a slippery slope between Chips Ahoy! and Chunks Ahoy!
“I’d tap that.” - Me, to a maple tree.
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Who to follow
-
Good Trouble Think-Tank
@GetNGoodTrouble -
El Capitan Americano
@badLwithbadLcat -
Voo Doo
@voodeaus -
Gert 🇪🇪
@2GPunk -
Tracy Sharpe
@tsharpe319 -
Canadian Pitbull
@CanadianPitbull -
Franc Beans ℹ
@FrancBeans -
Gamer1🎮🕹
@LFCFanClub3 -
NickiNickiNicki
@LazyAnimeGirl -
Kimberley Etheridge
@KimisGone -
Matthew Chalich
@MatthewChalich
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