Jason Faust
@JasonDFaustMama, save it inside a matzah ball.
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I just hopped on Bluesky. Find me there and let's all get far away from here bsky.app/profile/jashan…
life be so good till you hear some fleetwood mac & get to remembering
Didn't realize this guy got jokes like that. This could be very bad for Harris. #JDVance #dietmountaindew #KamalaHarris #theyreallgonnalaughatyou
I have kicked the dog bowl That was on the floor And which you probably thought was in a good spot. Forgive me. I'll go get some paper towels
I bet you fucking vultures would just love to know how I've positioned my portfolio. Well, I'll tell you. It's mostly tied up in legumes
Every once in awhile I want to tell a blonde stranger that they kinda look like Boris Johnson. I never do though. I never do.
It's funny to act like unfunny things are funny. That's kinda my schtick. So any time I'm being unfunny, it's actually VERY funny
About to start a new life as a guy who does extended improvised piano shit over lofi loops with old movies projected behind me. That'll show you. That'll show each and every last one of you.
There's not enough contemporary art examining the inner world of a lonely puppet maker
A lot of people's friends and loved ones must be SO mad about all the Wes Anderson esque activity they're engaging in despite specifically being told not to. It's like no one even listens anymore.
I don't think I'm ready for overnight oats. I'm just not in a place where I'm looking for anything serious oat-wise.
One thing I will not stand for is a preemptive thank you for understanding. I demand that you gauge my level of understanding first and determine it is sufficient before thanking me.
Your expert can't have wacky hair. You think it's giving Einstein but it's giving the guy from Ancient Aliens. Experts need hair we can wrap our heads around.
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