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Guy: Your teeth are like stars. Girl: Awwww <3 Guy: So yellow and distant from each other..
Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, you wore no condom, so here's the baby.
Oh, I'm late to class. Please stare at me like I killed 5 people.
Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police.
Google has to be a woman... It starts suggesting things before you can even finish your sentence.
Elevator door doesn't open immediately. Sudden reaction; "trapped forever."
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@ItSucks_When #itsuckswhen you've entered @thetodayshow comp for 1D a million times but you know you will never win!!
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