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There’s no way I’m doing 75 in a 55 and you’re still riding my ass there’s just no way.


Being sick is so dumb like why did my body just decide to stop functioning properly


I for real love the sound of Halseys voice. Shes gets me every time.


My dog needs a 5k emergency surgery or she’s gona die. The cost of health care in any form is just fckn criminal.


Shout out to my boss for messaging me asking if I’ll be in the office tomorrow, saying “we need to talk” and immediately following up with “it’s nothing bad.” Lol she knew she triggered my anxiety immediately and needed to shut that shit down.


When Big Sean said “Fck a vacay I feel better at work” I did not feel that. Not ever, not once, never in my life have I ever felt that.


STOP FUCKING MAKING FAKE MOVIE TRAILERS. I’m tired of getting excited for shit that isn’t happening.


Nothing hits harder than a Friday night.


I need destination suggestions to plan my next vacay.


Vegas with mom let’s see what this place looks like in the day time.


Why are people making fake movie trailers?? Get me all fckn excited for a new mummy movie with fckn Keanu Reeves and now I’m just sad.


My son fell as soon as he walked out side this morning, has a big ole strawberry on his knee, and has been walking around limping holding it saying “owiee” every step since. The drama from him is crazy.


Walmart is so fckn needy dude. I know my order is ready I’ll be there when I feel like it.


Thinking about a time in high school where my dad was giving me one of his talks and he said “I know you smoke” and instead of just saying no I don’t my dumb ass said “smoke what?” In order to find out what he thinks I’ve been smoking and how much trouble I was in hahaha


Hawaii news just published an article saying a family of four needs an income of 300k to live comfortably here. That is so fckd


Told my coworker I had to leave I gotta go get my kids and he says “wow what a super mom”. Bro that’s bare minimum shit. They can’t stay at school my guy.


Can we all just agree as a nation to not file our taxes this year. There’s some suspect shit going on. For the first time in my life they’re saying I owe almost 4K and that’s with having to children and child care to claim. They got me fckd up.


Baby Jared face planted and landed on his snack cup that cut the corner of his eye open and he now has a black eye


Brooklyn has realized she’s strong enough to pick up her brother & move him as she sees fit. Now anytime he’s bothering her she simply picks him up moves him to a new location and runs back to close the door on him. He does not appreciate this new development in the slightest.


Being with Jared all this time is so funny because we’ve been best friends since we were 10 and our lives just continued as such. Literally roommates with my best friend just raising 2 lil fckers, vibing daily.


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