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RedVelvetMuffin©️

@Heaterhotusus

carnivoro. there/they’re/there

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Pinned

Are you crazy or just diligent?


RedVelvetMuffin©️ Reposted

If RFK bans Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I’ll make Jan 6th look like a knitting circle.


RedVelvetMuffin©️ Reposted

my list of who should be deported left handers people that stop at yellow lights people that look in my shopping cart at the store My neighbor Erich people that unfollow me here


RedVelvetMuffin©️ Reposted

RFK Jr's first order at Health will be replacing all medical scrubs with dungarees.


RedVelvetMuffin©️ Reposted

Set phasers to unfortunate haircut


RedVelvetMuffin©️ Reposted

What Karen from Iowa left this at the thrift store?

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RedVelvetMuffin©️ Reposted

Good Morning Stench Of Desperation Internet


RedVelvetMuffin©️ Reposted

At least she's winning the unpopular vote.


RedVelvetMuffin©️ Reposted

I voted for her. I think he’s a bad guy. But if you lose the senate, house, electoral college AND popular vote, and you think the lesson is half the country is racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, and stupid… wrong lesson. And the same thing will likely happen in 2028.


RedVelvetMuffin©️ Reposted

I picked the wrong decade to stop doing coke


RedVelvetMuffin©️ Reposted

You’ll never be as drunk as Kamala is right now.


RedVelvetMuffin©️ Reposted

According to my sources…

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Turns out Taylor Swift can’t swing an election


RedVelvetMuffin©️ Reposted

Once upon a time, you could sob quietly in a porno theater. Now it’s all, “Sir, do you need help?”


RedVelvetMuffin©️ Reposted

Hey guys , after Tuesday can we please go back to tweeting about cocaine and bacon you know interesting stuff


RedVelvetMuffin©️ Reposted

I want a government small enough to have neither the time nor the resources to conduct a 5 hour raid over a pet squirrel.


RedVelvetMuffin©️ Reposted

This cocaine smells like I’ll be pawning my neighbors 75” Smart TV.


RedVelvetMuffin©️ Reposted

Too old for TikTok, too young for Life Alert


So first I read the thread… and anybody who believes: 1) any of this crap? You’re a fucking idiot. 2) that any of this was written by a woman? You’re a fucking idiot. Then I looked at who “she” follows. Just a bunch of patriarchal nut jobs. The account is a sham.

Darkest Female Secrets that NO woman wants you to know! -Dark Female Psychology Thread-

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Watching The House: “This movie was definitely made for people on drugs”


RedVelvetMuffin©️ Reposted

He wins the internet today.

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