@HazyStacy Profile picture

Stacy Ladner

@HazyStacy

Follower of self-proclaimed comedians with unknown day jobs doing local stand-up every now and then. But that's just normal Twitter, right?

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Some of you need to learn about punctuation


We get it. You have a small penis. https://t.co/nIOfMQfGp5

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If you could turn off depression tweets, I'd have to make decisions on a day-to-day basis.


I'm gonna have one glass of wine now and save the rest of the bottle for also now.


First rule of absent-minded club is I like cheese. Seriously, on almost anything.


"I find your lack of faith disturbing"


I'm having some difficulties balancing my time budget. It's weird because my income hasn't changed.


No, Internet. Life is a good thing and I don't want to hack it. Let's see some death hacks instead because I don't like the sound of that.


The world's tallest mermaid. https://t.co/TZq6aKRBw1

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You make the call. I'm just not that fussy about what kind of bread goes under my cheese.


[casting The Revenant] Hey, Leo! That thing when you were all feebled on ludes in Wolf of Wall Street? Can you do it for a whole movie?


And as you read this tweet your eye lids are becoming heavier. You're decending into state of complete... relaxation… Not working, huh?


The best part of sneezing with headphones on is getting to listen to music at a godzillion decibels for a split second.


Your focused meditation sounds great but have you heard of naps? I think they will blow your mind!


Shhh… Don't struggle, it'll all be over soon. https://t.co/ZjzSnOAIWi

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I always carry a can of pepper spray, an expandable baton and a rhythm stick. Better safe than sorry.


[on the phone with customer services] So what would the fee for shipping only be? I'm planning to do all the handling myself.


How many followers do you need to call yourself a writer and start lamenting over not getting your job done?


All I'm saying is Tyler Durden could have made a lot of soap with all the fat we burn in gyms this month.


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