@Fundi_Puritan Profile picture

Fundamentalist Puritan

@Fundi_Puritan

Obviously right in all my opinions. Independent Fundamentalist. THE PURITANS WERE AWESOME. John Owen my home boy. I am true Christianity. Satire

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Fundamentalist Puritan Reposted

31 years ago today (Feb 11, 1990) Nelson Mandela was released from prison Five years earlier Jerry Falwell Sr., @JerryPrevoLU and other conservatives pastors traveled to South Africa and publicly endorsed the apartheid government that refused to release him.


Because we don’t believe in double blessings, we’ve invented the double standard.

Great news! Our standards have doubled!



Fundamentalist Puritan Reposted

Great news! Our standards have doubled!


The way it should be

few know this but at conservative seminaries students are expelled if they raise their hand in class to ask a question bc it’s too charismatic



Praise God nobody believes Jesus needs our help to save us!

If Jesus needs my help to save me I’m definitely going to go to Hell.



So, Pelagius was condemned for not believing in Baptismal regeneration... doesn’t that make virtually every Protestant (except them Lutherans) Pelagian? Just sayin’


Fundamentalist Puritan Reposted

Sam: *gets caught eavesdropping by Gandalf* Frodo:

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Literally every time Calvinists gain the majority in a group:

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We need to purge this pagan holiday from our churches. Be at church, sinners.

Little know fact: The Super Bowl was originally a pagan holiday before the church used it as an outreach opportunity.



Fundamentalist Puritan Reposted

Just want to condemn you all for talking about a super bowl since Jesus never said anything about a super bowl. Have fun sinning you sinners.


When they call you a “wild eyed fundamentalist” on page 318 footnote 27 of their book:

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When they say my standards aren’t necessarily God’s commands:

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When they call Bible reading “legalism”

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When they call us Fundamentalists Pharisees:

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