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Firefighter Humor

@FFHumor

Playful humor of the fire service, as well as thoughts and insights. These tweets represent no FD.

Joined May 2012
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Why does cleaning the station toilets always make you have to poo??


Typical C shifters....

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For all the tech rescuers out there: what’s your standard baseline PPE for extrication? I’m seeing FR gear, Dickies-style, or just long sleeves?


Nurses: super offended by what Senator said. Paramedics: Welcome to our world...


Firefighter Humor Reposted

Dear kids pumping your arm to have us honk our horn as we drive by: We enjoy it just as much as you, never stop. Sincerely, The American Firefighter


Each FD has 3 types of shifts. One bonds over brotherhood, another bonds over bitching together, and the last enjoys their separation and time alone.


Firefighter Humor Reposted

Properly functioning door remotes are like unicorns. Heard of them. Never seen one.


Is there such a thing as a FD with properly functions garage door remotes?


2018 statistics are in. Hurt feelings has trumped back injuries as the #1 workplace injuries in the fire service.


I’ll spend 1/3 of my life in this firehouse. 1/2 of that time will be spent cleaning up after and fixing the fuck ups of B shift


Firefighter Humor Reposted

Why do we still put "Dial" 911 on trucks when no one would know how a dial phone works anymore? *Call* 911


I used to be an avid straight streamer... then I got an enlarged prostate.


Firefighting is like sex... you gotta get up in there to get the job done


First in, last out.... of the kitchen


Firehouse fridge: “no name = fair game”


Well I'll be a monkey's uncle.... Lit off like a Roman candle. Police tried to play firefighter and put it out.

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Alright vendors... gimme some free shit and I'll tell everyone how awesome it is. I'll even find some quality cleavage as a back drop


Show of hands for those who have slept naked in their bunk/rack...


Promotion exam had no comparisons on upholstery coverings... let's cover the big stuff!


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