@Emma_Carol Profile picture

Missy Loneliheart

@Emma_Carol

Can smell these toots a mile away.

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I'm only cool and collected when I'm being a terrible, awful person.


I'm gonna quit my job and write comedy and become homeless, probably. #doyou


I'm not a sociopath if I'm constantly worried I'm a sociopath, right?!


I ate so many pickles that I gave myself a tummy ache.


I'm covered in hives because y'all are stressin.


Let's all take the time to play dead in front of our cats to find out if they would eat us or not.


My cat falls off of furniture if you pet yer right.


When I'm asleep I don't have to talk to any of you.


I just drank all my money. BYE IM OUT.


Thank god we have butt cheeks because if we didn't I would have poopy panties all the time from prairie dogging.


I find myself constantly noticing your serial killer like upbringing and personality.


So drunk last night that I told a guy talking too loud outside my house to "burn in hell"


After watching a video where white men argue about taking away my healthcare, I stand up from the toilet and realize my period has started.


I'm tired of trying to prove I'm an awesome person, just because I have a vagina. Plenty of dudes don't get shit for being lame.


Pooping after washing yer asshole is the worst.


I'm a quitter and I love it.


my butt hurts from sitting on this toilet so long.


Sorry thirsty bois. This lady is still in love with her ex boyfriend. Killllllll meeeee.


Put me in my bed. I'm sleepy in my head.


Yas. On my game. Duh. http://t.co/guNUq0wrMv

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