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The thing about being a male that lives alone is that I don’t know who to ask if I own tweezers, and if I do, where are they?
Your toaster has 26 more rushing yards than Colorado’s entire team
Today I hiked up a volcano in Iceland that was erupting last week right next to the ocean with a random couple from Germany. A year ago I didn’t even want to leave my house I was so depressed. Life goes on and gets better.
What Joe Rogan said: “What would you do if you knew there was a crew following you around with cameras documenting you’re future incredible success” What I heard: Message @VictoriaJustice on Instagram and ask if she needs a date to her friends wedding. 🤣🤣
The very last photo of Chester Bennington (Linkin Park's lead singer) taken by his wife just one day before he took his own life.
I got cut off in traffic and brake checked multiple times while I was pulling a trailer tonight. I watched a video just now on Facebook from a couple days ago of road rage. Same kid. Same car. Same place. 🤣
My boss is getting very annoyed I’ve slept in until 10:30 every day for the last 2 months.
I’m complaining about my employee buying $300 worth of tools on my company credit card while I’m driving around looking at $850k shops to buy. I might be part of the problem here.
“You are the first person in NBA History to have a 30-20-10 NBA Finals game. What does that mean to you?” Nikola Jokic: “I mean to be honest, not much…I’m just glad we won the game .”
Watching the NBA finals and seeing my work in the commercials is pretty damn cool.
Unearthed some more photos from the recording of #Meteora 📸 James Minchin III (2/2)
When you get 2 forks with your doordash order you know you ordered too much food.
For something that costs me $100 a day, I sure don’t stay at my house very often. 🤣
My accountant - “this is really important keep this somewhere safe” Me - Her - Me handing the paper back to her -“keep this here please”
“Did you really use my dawn dish soap in the shower?” “Well if it gets oil off ducks it’ll get oil off Dan”
I hauled a new piece of equipment for the Denver airport from Indianapolis back to Denver yesterday. Tomorrow I’m doing work for the Denver zoo, and next week hanging banners for the city of Denver. I never thought I would be where I’m at today, in less than 1 year in business.
I really really need someone in my life to stop me from buying stuff I don’t need. Now I have to go pick up a corvette I bought while I was high.
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