Daye Glatery
@DGlateryTv fanatic. Zombie fan. Coffee expert. Communicator. Introvert. Twitter specialist. Organizer. Internet advocate.
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She digs though her purse in the middle of Easter service, frantically regretting her Cee Lo ringtone choice.
I would like to congratulate my ex's new girlfriend on giving up orgasms.
Some kids next door challenged me to a water fight. I'm just updating my status while I wait for the kettle to boil...
6:00 PM has come and gone. This just confirms my beliefs: I'm immortal.
The problem with this generation boils down to: Their cartoons suck.
I was so pissed at my parents when I found out Santa wasn't real, I stormed out of the house, got in my car and just drove and drove.
If you're reading this.....Thank a Teacher! If you're reading this in English.....Thank a Veteran!
Never heard ladies getting so excited about something that is only 4 inches long.... Well done iPhone5.
Government shutdown day 7: Electricity still works. Water is still running. No cool gangs to join yet. Worst apocalypse ever.
Just pulled on a nose hair super hard & one of my pubes disappeared.
A simpler, more believable theory is that all the dinosaurs got married and just quit having sex all together.
After filling up my gas tank, I realized that I didn't want to eat for the rest of the week anyways.
If pigs really could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious.
By a show of dislikes how many people actually get out of the shower to pee?
This morning I got in touch with my inner self. And that's also the last time I'll buy cheap toilet paper...
An apple a day is bullshit. Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.
Roses are red. Facebook is blue. No mutual friends. So who the hell are you?
When Life knocks you down, calmly get back up, smile, and say 'You hit like a bitch.'
I hope I never go to jail because I haven't memorized a phone number since 2001.
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Who to follow
-
Susie B.
@thesusieb_ -
Nadine O'Regan
@NadineORegan -
James McAllister
@JamesMOnline -
👑 Folləttino🪬🤴🎗️
@follettin89 -
Ash Lawrence
@AshMindSet -
Dave!
@N5Dave -
Kat
@KyloRen_Hux -
˚ ༘♡ ⋆
@daegutasty -
Daiana Escobar
@Daiaescobarok -
Ashwini Parashar
@ashwiniparashar -
gracious♋️
@Ohmygraccie -
Nandi
@NandiAndrew -
Mitch vince
@MitchwhufcVince
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