@ClosetFloridian Profile picture

Shawn Spencer

@ClosetFloridian

Congrats, you found my Fwitter

You wonder why that VP at your firm still has a job, but 5 teams have given @DocRivers a chance


She splitting on my banana till I whip cream


Ran into a group of guys headed to WV bars while I was omw to Jazz with my GF. In that moment a small piece of us wanted to be the other person


RFK’s brain worm is considered a badge of honor in his community. Can’t get one if you’re eating processed foods!


Scariest age to turn as a man? 34. At that age, you’re past your NBA prime. No chance for a max contract or All NBA selection


Take note, Jerry Jones!

Every Veterans Day, November 11 at exactly 11:11 am, the sun aligns perfectly with the Anthem Veterans Memorial in Anthem, Arizona

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Girlfriend asleep!!! Time to fire off bangers


Got absolutely sniped watching the tv screen of the girl next to me on my flight. But it was Mean Girls. Can you blame me?


Thank you to all 10 people (and growing) who have sent me this. You truly get me. Please send to me if you haven’t already so I know you’re a real one

in a effort to both drink more water and practice my g splitting I have resorted to this

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The strongest analysis of crypto is “it’s been going up! Sooo it might keep going up?”


The flimsy little curtain divider between first class and everyone is a symbol to remind you that you’re scum for not upgrading


Tweeting bangers with no followers. This is what Van Gogh must’ve felt like


Guys I need followers on this. Where are the spam bots when you need them


Ahh American I also tell people I’m up to 6 inches and proceed to dissappint

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Can you still only dial up pressure? Or are there other ways to summon it?


Congrats. You found my fwitter


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