Cheese Curd Man
@Cheese_Curd_ManYou know that part of your brain you’re using when you’re winning at Cards Against Humanity? Well, that part of my brain is what I come here to set free
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If a Starbucks Cranberry Bliss Bar asked me politely if it could fuck me up the ass, I think I would let it. It’s just that damn good. #CramberryYourWayUpMyAssYouBlissfulBallOfBitch
It’s gotta be real sad for Kid Rock that @realDonaldTrump keeps using other artists’ music illegally despite numerous cease and desist orders when Kid Rock would sing for him every day if he wanted. #rejection
The amount of texts I’ve sent back to campaign ads that just say “STOP” in the last 2 weeks makes my phone look like I’m in an abusive relationship. #IYKYK #Election #Election2024
Whenever those God-forsaken “@solitairecash All Day” commercials come on repetitively and try to drive me over the edge into insanity, I like to yell things like “FUCK ME IN THE ASS ALL DAY” every time they say “Solitaire Cash All Day.” Gotta do something to keep my wits about me
You’re like a bag of Flamin’ Hot Doritos, babe… You hurt me, but I can’t get enough.
Love shopping for #beauty products, #homedecor, and more from Amazon? Enter The Amazon #Giveaway from @InspireNCelebr8 for a chance to win an #Amazon Gift Card! wn.nr/Y24VKRd
Love shopping for #beauty products, #homedecor, and more from Amazon? Enter The Amazon #Giveaway from @InspireNCelebr8 for a chance to win an #Amazon Gift Card! wn.nr/Y24VKRd
*sees a woman walk by with the word “cake” spelled out on her ass* Me: “Excuse me miss… Were you looking for a cake stand? My face is right here and available.”
I entered to win a chance to travel around Scotland on an adventure with @TourRadar and Rabbie's Tours! Enter now! #AdventureBeginsHere tourradar.com/travel/visit-s…
New word alert: Fuckstrated When you’re so frustrated, you scream FUCK, I’M FUCKSTRATED
Reese’s really cashed in on LGBTQ+ awareness They got extra peanut butter, Thins with less peanut butter… they got different flavors… Whatever your PB cup orientation, they got you covered homies
Why do airport bathrooms have that weird zigzag entrance? I ALWAYS nearly full-on French kiss another man on the lips when we smash our bodies against each other like two aggressive elephant seals in heat while going opposite directions around a blind corner.
You ever buy a ticket for a flight and get fully checked into the airport and then just think about fucking GETTING ON ANOTHER FLIGHT? Maybe if I just sneak in. Maybe go somewhere new
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