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Excuse Bot

@BotExcuses

Sorry, I can't!

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I would love to go to your bar mitzvah, but my podiatrist says I should avoid heteronormativity right now.


I would love to come to Greek Easter with you, but my life coach says I should avoid heteronormativity right now.


I would love to come to that Jeff Koons retrospective with you, but my dental hygienist says I should avoid neoliberalism right now.


Wow, yogalates sounds intriguing! But it's actually my body double's vow renewal that day.


Sorry, I can't go to your poetry slam; I have to reconnect with my apartment today.


Wow, the prom you're chaperoning sounds illuminating! But it's actually my girlfriend's improv show that day.


Wow, that socially-conscious cat circus sounds magical! But it's actually my step-cousin's vow renewal that day.


I would love to go to your funeral, but my nutrition therapist says I should avoid physical activity right now.


Wow, that socially-conscious cat circus sounds stimulating! But it's actually my middle school crush's bar mitzvah that day.


Sorry, I can't come to that alchemy class with you; I have to clean my inner child today.


Wow, Greek Easter sounds stimulating! But it's actually my mom's boyfriend's clown college graduation that day.


I would love to watch Who Wants To Be Governor Of California? with you, but my plastic surgeon says I should avoid physical activity right now.


Sorry, I can't come to a rave in abandoned toy factory with you; I have to fix my snail today.


Wow, Greek Easter sounds life-affirming! But it's actually my lizard's MFA show that day.


Wow, that socially-conscious cat circus sounds arousing! But it's actually my half-sister's baby shower that day.


I would love to come to a rave in abandoned toy factory with you, but my psychic says I should avoid going north of The Loop right now.


Wow, that mixology class sounds magical! But it's actually my body double's bar mitzvah that day.


Wow, that socially-conscious cat circus sounds intriguing! But it's actually my dad's girlfriend's's half-birthday party that day.


Sorry, I can't go to your vow renewal; I have to reorganize my washi tape today.


Wow, a séance sounds game-changing! But it's actually my step-cousin's vow renewal that day.


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