Funkey Boi
@BoiFunkeyPeople who use the phrase “Hits different” should be shot in the streets
I’m going to give 10 random people who retweet this tweet $10,000 EACH! You must be following @Pulte and me so we can dm you if you win $10,000! Ends in 72 hours, will show proof ❤️
every day i get closer and closer to joining the amish community
My coping mechanism for being unfunny is to explain why what I just said is unfunny
“Bro you don’t understand my white genes are so superior bro I’m Nordic bro I’m descended from Vikings bro”
My school REALLY thinks I’m gonna be sitting for 6 hours everyday doing work. How are they gonna enforce it? Terminators?
Does anyone else’s mom say completely innocent stuff that just makes you cringe? Like, “Oh this salad is yummy yummy yummy” is completely fine but I just wanna yell STOP MOM
A guy who’s 5’5 and peed his bed til 8th grade just called me a simp
Just downloaded a fitness app, time to feel bad about everything I eat but not change anything at all.
Home (and Starbucks bathrooms) is where you can poop for as long as you want
u used to make fun of him for taking piano lessons as a kid but now he just played the office theme song in front of ur girl and she’s ready to risk it all
too many times i’ve considered turning my twitter into a penguin fan account
I long to be a musical artist in a Disney Channel movie. Like one day you're sittin in your room singing about Chad and the next you're recording with the Jonas Brother. Sounds wack yo
I love Cyber Monday so much because I get emails for deals, think that it's cool, then delete them and never buy anything. Fun vibe.
Me n the boys on our way to verbally harass and abuse a server at Denny's after church.
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