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I’m gonna give 10 random people that repost this and follow me $25,000 for fun (the $250,000 my X video made) I’ll pick the winners in 72 hours
Next I’m buying Coca-Cola to put the cocaine back in
Everyone who retweets this gets free wings if the game goes to overtime.
Me - C'mon throw this bitch in gear so we can get out of here. Wife - The only bitch I want to throw is you. 😂😂
Everybody just wants to hear those 3 little words whispered to ‘em. “Let’s day drink.”
Don't be the "see ya next year" joke-guy. Nobody likes that guy. His joke isn't funny.
My dog Ellie is 11 years old. She’s been chasing squirrels for 11 years now. To date, she’s caught zero squirrels. But every day, she casts doubt aside and chases a new squirrel in hopes of fulfilling her lifelong dream of being a squirrel hunter. May we all be more like Ellie.
This day in age divorce is normal, I want my first marriage to be my last
There's a reason for the life I live today, it's so I have no boundaries tomorrow. #RoadToSuccess
Learning to stay calm over things you can’t control is fucking hard.
My body: WATER please I need it. Me: You, you want beer?
There's a name for the girls who would rather watch the Home Run Derby instead of The Bachelorette. Keepers. Merica.
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