Weapons of Mass Gulley
@ArchDukeOPossumProfessional dirt-slinger and Muckraker; Opossum Enthusiast
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Santa finally put one right between Kissinger's eyes. Merry Christmas everyone.
For two years I watched a borderlands black bear cub grow up on four of my remote wildlife cameras. I named the cub Monsoon after watching videos of it relishing swims in monsoon rains. Monsoon is know roaming solo, beefed up and beautiful. The borderlands are wild and wonderful.
The worst part of the “Javelinas are ruining my golf course” saga is LOOK AT THE BEAUTIFUL CANYON THEY RUINED TO MAKE THE COURSE. Like, yeah for sure there’s gonna be wild animals in your grass if you went out into the wilderness and plowed over their whole home.
I have always thought of golfers as scruffy porcine invaders. Maybe they shouldn’t build exclusive, expensive, and ecologically destructive resorts in the middle of prime Javelina land. #TeamJavelina
Very, very naughty peccaries: Hungry javelinas plague prestigious Arizona golf course with oversized divots theguardian.com/us-news/2023/o…
#TeamJavelina Javelina on its way to wreck a golf course. Fuck Seven Canyons golf course, let the peccaries have their land back.
The door was wrenched nearly from its hinges with the squeal of tortured metal as Conan kicked his way into the office, his blue eyes a pair of lambent cerulean coals smoldering with an undying hatred of Mondays.
ITS FEBRUARY!! SEND IT TO A FRIEND!! OR AN ENEMY!!
I am so tired of living like it's the 1600s. Can I afford eggs at the market? Are my friends gonna die in the plague? Puritans coming for my sinful lifestyle. I want some modern problems. Modern Problems
do you think god stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he’s created here on earth?
millennial sun tzu tweeting “umm…so i did a thing” and posting the book cover called “HOW TO NOT F*CK UP IN WAR”
Awesome how it takes weeks to get used to waking up early and then you can just piss it all away in one night by watching youtube gnome sightings in South America until 3 am
"The Last Of Us is the first good filmed video game adaptation". That's cheating. The game is already a pretty grounded and character-focused zombie apocalypse drama. Call me when they do a banger adaptation of Katamari Damacy also starring Pedro Pascal
I'm 38. I JUST realized "Honk If You're Horny" is a pun.
🧵THREAD: I have a joke about Sisyphus.
If twitter is dead can our zooarchaeologist at least have the bones for her type collection?
I have this problem where I can’t stop making these?
I honestly do think we'll probably be fine, but I'm loving the vibe so keep going
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