Not to brag but I don’t need to read the recipe for disaster anymore. I memorised it
Live, laugh, take me out into the middle of nowhere and leave me for dead
you seem really unhinged we should grab coffee sometime.
I used to go out and do things and now i have favorite scissors
When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this Arby’s immediately.”
it’s hard to be this whimsical when everyone is this stupid
I can't explain it, but if I'm deeply interested in whatever you're saying, it's more possible for me to fall asleep while we're talking
-Me: People who say "me, myself and I" are kinda admitting they have a mulptiple personality disorder. -Myself: I know, right? -I: Actually...
"Not every single woman has a scary story about a man" Yes they do. I promise you that they do.
people really come into your life and just waste the fuck out of your time
Sometimes I pretend to drink from an empty cup so I don’t have to speak to people. Follow me for more tips on how to be antisocial
You can have over 500 channels and every streaming app known to man. And you still won’t find anything you wanna watch.
Stop saying “No weirdos.” Everyone here is a fucking weirdo.
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