@yemisej Profile picture

polly

@yemisej

she/her ✩ #recoverytwt •attempting anorexia recovery ⋆ 𓋼𓍊 𓆏 𓍊𓋼𓍊

Joined August 2023

I hate that im feeling like I should restrict again to make sure I don't gain weight before friday. I am afraid that this week I will improve my health and then I will not deserve treatment, also seeing good test results will make me stop believing that I have anorexia 😣


omg im going to the hospital on friday and I will be hospitalized for 3 days… 💀 I am actually terrified…


to people in recovery, did you prepare your own meals or did someone cook for you? I don't know what's best for me - eating what my family eats, cooking for myself or for example buying diet catering... idk #recovtwt #recoverytwt


polly Reposted

i think of this often

cinnafluf's tweet image. i  think  of  this  often

thats the voice of anorexia that tells you that it's okay and you have nothing to recover from! it takes so much strength to resist it and stand up for yourself but you have to keep going ♥️


I still have to tell myself that I deserve recovery, I have a problem, just because I feel okay for a while doesn't mean I've recovered, I can't compare myself to others (which is probably the hardest thing), I can't give up


today I challanged my big fear food - bread with butter, it was so tasty but ngl im starting to feel a bit overwhelmed…. i will try not to think about it too much 😓


Hospital visits have shown me how scary and unfair it all is because everyone really doesn't give a shit about you and it's almost impossible to get proper help. Also, how people with eating disorders are treated in these places is a joke 🤡 omg it was traumatic


polly Reposted

no food is more unhealthy than an unhealthy relationship with food


but I still think there is no problem and I don't deserve to eat 🙂

okay i'm literally terrified of the state of my health. i've never had anything like this before but lately I keep feeling numbness and tingling in my hand it hurts so much i'm scared



okay i'm literally terrified of the state of my health. i've never had anything like this before but lately I keep feeling numbness and tingling in my hand it hurts so much i'm scared


I don't think I have the courage to actually be in recovery, it's been so long and I can't imagine that I'm able to change my thinking


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