@xargirl Profile picture

Lucy Morris

@xargirl

UEA English grad, ex-National Portrait Gallery worker bee. Writer. Londoner. Feminist. Eats, shoots and leaves. :)

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Lucy Morris Reposted

twitter is undeniably getting worse every day and yet whenever someone announces they’re leaving i simply see that they are not a true sicko. staying is like being in the string quartet on the titanic but for some reason we’re playing hoobastank.


Lucy Morris Reposted

waiter: are there any allergies at the table? me (already drunk): BEES


Lucy Morris Reposted

why does it seem like im always in a bad mood when i spend too much time on the meanness website run by annoying hitler


Lucy Morris Reposted

Ronin Walker Cobain Hawk sounds like the name of the first American to shoot a Martian


Lucy Morris Reposted

"Reality" as you perceive it is mostly an image you've constructed in your head from secondhand reports; an increasing share of those secondhand reports for most people are social media posts intended not to accurately report reality but to go viral, mostly by making you mad

All these posts about “why aren’t the floods in Asheville on the news” have thoroughly convinced me that literally every bit of discourse is driven by stancil’s theory about social media algos. It’s not just the economy, it’s any sense of reality



Lucy Morris Reposted

Obama announcing the death of bin Laden vs. Trump announcing the death of al-Baghdadi will forever be one of the funniest videos on the internet.


Lucy Morris Reposted
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Lucy Morris Reposted

My brother is turning 31 on Wednesday and because I’m possessed by god knows what I made him a hans moleman cake

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Lucy Morris Reposted

Oh my god the DRIVER of this tube just came into the carriage and told off someone for playing music without headphones this is the best day of my life


Lucy Morris Reposted

You know what? I'll give them this one. My European mind truly cannot comprehend this

the european mind cannot comprehend lil jon doing georgia's roll call



Lucy Morris Reposted

Walthamstow said no to racism

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Lucy Morris Reposted
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Perhaps it's time for a little more kindness.



Lucy Morris Reposted

when this dropped it caused deep concern amongst the teachers in my primary school until they figured out what the source was. to be fair, "i've found the source of the mysterious ticking! it's a pipe bomb!!" is the last thing you want to hear from a bunch of children in derry


Lucy Morris Reposted

Now that Pepperami has remodelled itself as a ‘protein hit’, there’s only really Pot Noodle left branding its own consumers as degenerate filth.


Lucy Morris Reposted

Imagine if Ed Davey has a really insane stunt lined up for the final day of campaigning and it goes wrong and he's killed but it's too late to register a replacement and everyone votes Lib Dem out of respect so his corpse becomes PM and he's affectionately nicknamed Dead Ed


Lucy Morris Reposted

When people say things were better in the past they mean this advert from the 80s for the Telford Shopping Centre. I am obsessed. The song alone is high art.


Lucy Morris Reposted

Babies every 2-3 hours:

Wow Hungary



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