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@two_pid

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Joined May 2014
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I'll end my presidential campaign right now if you stop writing.

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You're all laughing, but perhaps the real Twitter is the covfefe we make along the way.

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How many scoops of matcha until my heart explodes? Ok I'll have one less than that please.


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After three nights of only 5 hours of sleep, caffeine use no longer improves alertness or performance.


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OK, here it is. Please don't start flame wars over it, but this year I'd like to apologise for killing (whispers)... Snape. *runs for cover*


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. @realDonaldTrump What in the actual fuck is wrong with you and your "team" of "experts"? Asking for a friend...


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'Mommy was mean to me and I don't wanna hold her hand no more.'

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I'm here for a good time not a long time


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shitty musicians RT @Ramsay_rabies: @JoshRamsay are you allergic to any thing


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Mark: Live In The Meow


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So sad to hear about Alan Rickman. so many great performers lost lately. Wonderful and unique actor.


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Terrible news this morning. RIP David Bowie.


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I hope they put you on the front of a wheaties box one day 🏆


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Happiness is homemade 🎄❤️🎅🏼


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