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kinda stupid that our enitre galaxy is named after a candy bar
being Filipino is so nuts.. I have a cousin whose legal name is Karl Marx
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: moon's haunted nasa employee: what? astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon's haunted
IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
*shipwrecked diary* Day 1: alone, doing well. Mentally sound. Met a crab Day 2: I have married the crab. Day 3: I have eaten my wife.
*watching James Blunt mouth "not you" to me after singing You're Beautiful in concert*
me: [lighting fireworks] are you ready uber driver: for what
I have so much loyalty to my principal, my administrators, my students, and my fellow teachers, but these days it feels like @ChiPubSchools is run by literal supervillains
A first grader asked me if she could tell a joke to the class. I said yes, so she stood up and yelled "booty booty booty booty rocking everywhere" and the rest of the class went fucking wild
I had a dream last night that I was being chased by Bob the tomato and I ran to Target and hid behind one of the big red target balls and I thought I lost him but then the ball started breathing
Day two: I've officially been promoted to being my own class subject. Teacher is TBA.
the mall in my mom’s hometown burned down and the only thing that survived was this statue of the Famous Filipino Restaurant Mascot, Jollibee
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