@status_updates Profile picture

Status Updates

@status_updates

Our maintenance scheduling system will be down for %s between %s and %s to address a display bug

Joined April 2013
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Pinned

We've seen the new OpenSSL vulnerability announcement and we are working on a logo for it as a matter of urgency


In light of the recent OpenSSL vulnerabilities, we've modernized our security and are now using Elliptic Line cryptography


Apologies for the recent problems but the service has been under heavy load due to it going viral! W32/Autorun.worm.ev


Due to #GDPRday, our EU customers must no longer be personally identifiable in their profile photos. Please pull a strange face or perhaps wear an unusual hat.


The service is running very slowly today due to #WorldTurtleDay. In future, please check what animal day it is before contacting support.


Due to the GDPR, we're emailing updated terms and conditions that you auto-agree to upon opening. We're monitoring who is opening it using a tracking pixel. Please open it before Friday.


It's been a hard week so we’ve doubled our security measures to 50ml and can announce our sysadmin's hands are now steady again.


After many months of work, today we finally completed our migration from AMD to Intel hardware! You should notice the service is now about 5-30% faster, so no more meltdowns!


We're investigating reports of increased HTTPS request latency.


To maximize security, all of our private keys have now been updated to use the new Mersenne prime number M77232917.

New largest (Mersenne) prime discovered! Its name is M77232917, meaning its value is: M77232917 = 2^77,232,917 - 1 which would have about 23.3 million decimal digits if you wanted to write it out for some reason. Full press release: mersenne.org/primes/press/M…



A large ursine mammal has broken into the office and is causing serious problems. Bear with us.


I've been informed that we're not actually vulnerable to the new OpenSSL bugs because we don't use any encryption anywhere #defenseindepth


Due to the recently announced security vulnerabilities, we've forked OpenSSL and closed source it for security. We're calling it ClosedSSL.


Some users are having problems logging in due to a PAM issue. She wiped the password off the board so we can't login either.


The service is unavailable, apparently due to it being Friday afternoon. Everyone has gone home early so estimated fix is currently Monday.


We're afraid that the hand-made raid blade upgrade for which we paid didn't make the grade and caused a delayed failure cascade.


Mercury has passed but our datacentre is still offline. We expect the next transit will fix it. That should happen pretty soon we think.


Our solar-powered datacentre is currently offline, we think due to Mercury transiting the Sun. Estimated time for fix: 7.5 hours


In memory of Prince, our service will be unavailable until we can restore power at the datacentre.


Please be aware that while we do provide end to end encryption, we reserve the right to change the definition of end without notice.


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