Mason
@snowbutteroschrodinger’s idiot. poe’s law applies to playlist titles too
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what if mary? was in the club? before she met joseph? and joseph and his buddy came up to her and said, “so we heard you were buying US drinks.” ? and she laughed and said, “no, i think you’re buying US drinks.” and he said “no i’m not kidding you’re buying us drinks or els-“
What did you accomplish today that’s so incredible that you deserve a Tuesday happy hour?
Every friday afternoon, to be precise
If you cannot control your dog, then I know you have no control over yourself
If i was small enough to wear medium shirts I would still buy larges. How do you live with yourself wearing medium. Might as well be wearing size “i’m a little boy, can you pass me my baba” Just my 2 cents (XL purchaser btw)
Permission to spend the next 14 hours drinking and watching 20 year old kids hit the shit out of each other on television
✅
workshopping a name for my plans for the next 4 months. something creative like: (Lots of) Alcohol Summer (I’m also super tan)™️
friday morning. you wake up so excited. you’re going to let yourself buy a coffee today instead of making it at home. maybe even a little breakfast slop sandwich. how lucky are you
every time u go to order a water at the bar instead of another irish carbomb, just think about what you're doing to ur body. sick of watching my friends willingly poison themselves enough is enough
verdict is in. the vibe is : trump, being tan, cowboy hats, quiet landscapes, loud music, wanting to live out west but living in the midwest, everlasting youth, nicotine, the courage to fight on in the face of sure defeat, wind rustling leaves, coors banquet in the cool can
Some of you need to stop sending me shit on instagram and go do something productive at work I, on the other hand, am taking my 2nd week of vacation this month. But you need to go work harder. Just you
The weather metrics are getting out of hand these days so let me dumb it down for you. This is how you interpret this fancy ass chart
that instagram reel of someone cooking a burger on a camping stove in the rockies with ambient music playing makes your hangover feel just a little less bad huh white boy
No, this isnt part of your computer, dude, this is food. These are beans. Someone put BEANS in your computer
Gracie Abrams is a literal nepo baby and she still smokes every other young female artist in the game rn there I said it
I love when the elevator stops on the way down, and someone gets in and immediately starts furiously clicking the 1 or door close button as if we’re not going that way already Like who are you running from lil guy
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