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my wife frodo baggins 🤝 leaving town with a tall bearded man and throwing their ring into a volcano
This is the greatest thing I have found today
I'm OK at yoga, but still haven’t mastered the “helicopter flying out of my vag” pose.
Hi I'm Stevie Wonder and you're watching the Disney channel:
Vibrators: -know how to please -comes with clear instructions -doesnt tell me to smile -wont make me listen to their slam poetry Men: -sometimes funny -has never died inside of me
Driving lessons are so weird like you climb into a metal box with a divorced man and he teaches you not to kill anyone
me: knock knock friend: who's there me: th- jk rowling: they just fucking shit themselves whenever like it was nothing
Hogwarts didn't always have bathrooms. Before adopting Muggle plumbing methods in the eighteenth century, witches and wizards simply relieved themselves wherever they stood, and vanished the evidence. #NationalTriviaDay
If gingerbread are men then how come they haven't punched a hole in my drywall?
The time has come for Theresa May to lip sync for her life
instead of making "i want to die" jokes try making "it is impossible for me to die" jokes. not only is it funnier to think you are immortal, but it also helps your mental state from not thinking about death. become God
United States Trends
- 1. Chiefs 140 B posts
- 2. Mets 127 B posts
- 3. Yankees 67,5 B posts
- 4. #TSTheErasTour 98,1 B posts
- 5. NEW ROMANTICS 8.275 posts
- 6. Long Live 66,1 B posts
- 7. Jay Z 170 B posts
- 8. Chargers 39,2 B posts
- 9. Dodgers 25,3 B posts
- 10. World Series 16,3 B posts
- 11. IT WAS THE END OF AN ERA 9.278 posts
- 12. Mahomes 26,3 B posts
- 13. Steve Cohen 8.436 posts
- 14. THE MANUSCRIPT 13,9 B posts
- 15. #LFGM 1.861 posts
- 16. #BaddiesMidwest 14,2 B posts
- 17. Draymond 10,6 B posts
- 18. Mook 8.351 posts
- 19. Ohtani 14,5 B posts
- 20. Alonso 44,2 B posts
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