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@ThaBrettman18
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every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever
the grease in your hair seeps into ur skull and whispers evil messages into your brain and when you shower it goes away and you feel better
sleepy joe you’ve got two months. go crazy. eliminate all student debt. legalize marijuana. make tampons and condoms free. ban cybertrucks. shit in the oval office’s air vent. kidnap barron. the world is your oyster buddy
sometimes as a woman you don't know if you're hormonally sad or seasonally sad or ACTUALLY sad
Actually 25-30 is when you contemplate killing yourself every day
25-30 is such a weird age group. You have to excel in your career, find a life partner, stay healthy and save money.
Expand your mind babe. 25-30 is about getting fired, sleeping with losers, googling your many concerning illnesses instead of going to the doctor, and being so broke that loose change in your car floor mats decides whether you get a small or medium McDonald’s Diet Coke
25-30 is such a weird age group. You have to excel in your career, find a life partner, stay healthy and save money.
since this tweet i have studied for the bar exam for 12 weeks, taken the bar exam, waited 3 months for results, passed, got sworn in, and have been a lawyer for a year
the feeling of knowing that you're in a big transitional stage of your life can be so surreal. it’s exciting, terrifying, and grief-filled all at once. the “shedding” process can be very confusing and overwhelming but you can’t enter your new life attached to your old one
Hi. Condoms are free because of the AIDS epidemic. Thousands of people died for those free condoms. It can and should be a BOTH. It can be a free condoms AND free pads. Free condoms are LIFE SAVING. I'm begging people to learn their queer history.
accidentally spent all my life making sure everyone around me feels comfortable, only to realize i never felt comfortable the whole time
DUMMMPPPP HIMMMMMM. You won’t die. Dumppopppppp him. God. Dump him then go pick up a hobby, learn to cook new meals, learn a new skill, change your hair, go on a solo trip, relocate if it’s that serious but Jesus Christ dump that man you will be FINE. Urgh
My 3y/o is the only girl at her small daycare. I was thrilled when she started talking about her new friend Piper and how much they loved to play. Every day for months: Piper this, Piper that. Finally I asked the daycare lady about maybe scheduling a playdate. Piper is a cat.
When multi-million dollar companies ask me to make a donation at the register.
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