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friend: have you had anything to eat today? me: every martini has an olive
my reply game good asf bc i have a phone addiction and nothing better to do don’t think you’re special lmao
when i was younger i used to tell police officers that i saw “thank you for your service!” but now it’s just fuck 12 lmao cuz fuck 12 period
i believe in long distance out of the 7 billion people on the planet, you think your soul mate is 15 min away?
is your gf gonna buy you the ps5 or do i have too ???
i want my future boo to spam his story w my face...is that too much to ask
soooo i wanna cut my hair short but my future bae needs sum to pull..conflicted
😂😂😂 shawty really look like me too bruh.
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