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if 5 random white ppl come up to me & tell me they are imagine dragons im gonna have no choice but to believe them
Previous job experience 2 yrs laying low 1 yr thugging it out when no one gaf 3 yrs finding myself 1 yr doing me 2 yrs trusting the process
$22 sandwich should be illegal. If I was president all sandwiches would be hard-capped at $9
i should've bought a house in 2007 instead of playing on my pink nintendo ds
five year plan: -become one of the best minds of my generation -avoid being destroyed by madness
They should make a high speed rail line between my house and my friends’ houses
this with Benadryl and a gun>>>>>>>
My wife: You should really get rid of that amulet honey I think it’s changed you My Cursed Amulet: Don’t listen to her! She’s jealous of you… that’s why she doesn’t let you play Xbox anymore Me: I used to play halo whenever I want… My bitch wife: Please you’re scaring me
u ever smell the air and it smells like the 4th grade scholastic book fair on a chilly tuesday in october of 2000
I don't want to touch screens anymore, I hate it. I want dials, knobs, levers. Maybe even some cranks. Big chunky buttons. What's wrong with us? Why did we do this to ourselves?
first date I get stuck while climbing a tree and you go get help
my wife is putting a blanket over my crate so i think its night time
putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep
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