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@beeemellor
@natashajnorton
when i die spread my ashes around the rim of a margarita glass
Sometimes I just want to live in a small cottage wit my kids in the middle of nowhere . Where nobody can find me or talk to me.
Left the back door open at my friend's house and her roomba escaped. Hope he goes on an adventure and cleans the whole world
missing a call from my dad at 8 AM My anxiety brain: A relative died I know it My dad:
I just think it’s cute that stamps are stickers with a job
when i was a young boy a witch put a curse on me so that if i ever don’t drink at least 4 beers at the airport i die
only here for da honeymoon phase do not show me yo true colors
Me: how do I do my taxes Public School: shut the fuck up and square dance
i’m legit not talking to anybody this week. that moon is legit calling trouble to my name.
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