David Loman
@lomanauthorAuthor of the #1 Best Seller Ridiculous Customer Complaints 1 & 2 and Fifty Shades of Dave - the compilation edition. Rare unsigned copies maybe available.
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Go on have a look, you know you want to and I won't judge you for doing so. #fiftyshades #books
Have 3 x Excellent seated tickets for Coldplay at Wembley. NOT looking to sell, just wanted to be different from 50% of the posts here. #Coldplay
I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.
Everything should have a “checkout as guest” option. I don’t want an account and app for everything. Here’s the money to pay for the thing, here’s the address to send the thing, now leave me alone
time for the card machine industry to decide whether you tap the screen or the top bit. this has gone on too long
Yep Glastonbury this year is definitely owned by Paul Heaton. Fantastic! @PaulHeatonSolo @glastonbury @riannedowney_
Don't write a book to make money. Write a book to make an impact. Money is a byproduct, not the goal. Go make something great.
I PLAYED FUT CHAMPS AT EVERY WORLD CUP STADIUM IN 24 HOURS Had to wait to upload it incase I got arrested youtu.be/eAn6xi1TzQg
Well made mash potato is the King of all potatoes. Agree? #potato
This tweet about Emma Raducanu's sensational U.S open deserves the limelight #USOpen2021
Unlike Prince Andrew this Brit isn't afraid of a US Court.
How to catch the bus - FAQs firstbus.co.uk/help-and-suppo… Just tried buying single books of tickets for my son(14) he doesn't need to the bus everyday, however can only get adult tickets this way. Can he use adult ones? This is in Essex.
A heist film set on Southend pier...this might be the most pun-tastic #MischiefMovieNightIn title yet. PLAY!
So the other day I threw a dart into a forest. I searched for hours for it but gave up as I really couldn't see the point #BestDadJoke
I was reviewing a new book on tightrope walking, initially I thought it was rubbish but on balance it was excellent. #BestDadJoke
I was in a supermarket the other day and I was disgusted to see a man throwing cheese, milk and butter all over the aisle. I thought how dairy! #BestDadJoke
#NoToEuropeanSuperLeague As it is JPMorgan who are funding perhaps it is time for anyone who has investments with them to move them to their competitors. Hit them where it hurts, their balance sheet.
Goal of the season, worth 2 goals at least. Come on Southend!
Surely not from there?! 🤯 Nathan Ferguson scored a remarkable long-range goal in Southend's 3-1 win over Forest Green! 🚀
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