Joe Jones
@ixJonesxiEveryday is leg day when you’re constantly running from your problems
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I miss when coffee was only used as a neat trick to stain paper to look old as opposed to the only way I can transform into a semi-functional human being
Heard on the radio that there's a service to rent a dad for a day. Was really disappointed to hear the name of the business wasn't Pa-rental
Writing a 13 page paper and ran out of information at page 9. Time for 4 pages worth of facts about armadillos. #finalsweekfeels
And on the 7th day, the Lord created Kenneth Bone, to save a divided nation amidst two evils #KenBoneFacts
When the highlight of your day is the fact that your coffee has a bendy straw... You're doing something right #itsthelittlethings
Running around from class to class and my only thought is "I hope someone dropped a Pokemon Go lure in the next hall"
If you get mad that I don't bless you on your twelfth sneeze, sorry but I stop at two. After five I'm getting a hazmat suit to sit by you
To the girl who asked for a pencil in class today: What does this make us? Are we dating? Are you going to give it back? Lol this is so us.
Sorry I ate all the Oreos before you got any, but in my defense fuck you, I regret nothing.
*Pokemon theme song comes across my AUX* Sorry, I forgot this was on there, I'll change it. Her: No way, this is my jam! ...Marry me
College tip: save money by waking up at noon and knocking out lunch and breakfast in the same meal #themoreyouknow
I don't know if I could ever stab anyone, I mean I still have trouble getting the straw into the Capri Sun #whyimnotinjail
@bse11ers it must be considered highly ranked mascots are more likely to have a weapon and instill fear. But.. behold http://t.co/MCexRfbK6q
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